Sunday, October 31, 2010

First things first:

Yes I am a Minotaur. The Minotaur to be more precise, and no, typing is not easy with hooves. I have recovered this computer from my latest victim and I am just finally learning how to use it myself. You see, like so many desperate adventurers, Leonard, who called himself a "Green-bray" (whatever that is,) came into my home with the intentions of dispatching me. He sought fame and glory like all the others, and he was a fool like all the others. And yes, I know what you are thinking: "Didn't Theseus kill the Minotaur thousands of years ago?" Well the answer is no, that is a myth. After snatching his little ball of yarn and making that rich brat cry I spared Theseus as to offer him an arrangement I found mutually beneficial: Theseus would proclaim that he slayed the white-bull-man-beast known as myself and I might get a few good decades of peace and quiet. He wisely agreed to this accord,(not knowing that my next bargain would be sodomizing him with a snapping-turtle in exchange for his writhing and screaming in agony,) and as the tale became accepted as truth, things finally quieted in the Labyrinth. The story became myth, and is, as I see here, still widely asserted. I must also thank the often revered yet dim and tepid-minded Ovid who regarded our ruse as truth, and as telling of the disconsolate state of human scholarship as it may be, helped spread our little tale to distant lands and times. But I digress, I was writing about Leonard, the Green-bray.
I met Leonard one evening as I strolled through the North Wing of the Lab. I prefer walking in that area in the evening as it harbors many owls and their call is most heartening and pleasant to me. Plus, its relatively close to the entrance and I frequently find human would be assassins creeping around this area after dark. On this particular evening the owls stopped their song abruptly which indicated to me that another human dolt had come to challenge me, a demigod, to a duel. I hid and waited to see what came creeping to its death.